Red Rot

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

two minds

I think you will regret fucking things up with me.

God I hate you for treating me like nothing. For having the same laugh and the same face but wanting nothing to do with me. For not giving me the space to be hurt, to be sad, to be angry. For only framing our relationship in context of you--that what you regret most is that it will have been another thing you've failed at.

I regret the future. What could have been. What we were always going to name our daughter. I regret goodbye, the dissolution of my one great love, one so beautiful I threw my life at it.

I regret your eyes, your hands, the scar on your palm, the button on your wrist, the holds for my fingers on your back.

I regret that day in the hospital when you held my hand (more love from you than I can remember feeling). I regret that I needed more. That I lost you and couldn't get you back. That when you fell apart and I fell apart, I wasn't strong enough to keep us together.

8:53 p.m. - 2012-03-01

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

< - >