Red Rot

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this entry is for me, a backup of todays pertinent and not so pertinent thoughts

if my insides are a factory, then why aren't my outsides?

quilts with guns and paint and pieces
the knitting store in georgetown
run until my bones are brittle
books until my fingers broken
words until i have no more

i am painfully self absorbed. i notice that when im driving with quinn (the only person that im driving with, the only person that im ever with) and we're not talking, my thoughts that almost become words, are ideas about myself (that i would like brown pointy shoes, that i am going to pixie cut my hair this summer or whenever it gets to as long as it will get, that i feel fat eating like quinn eats just coke and candy and ice cream, that i am this, that i am that) and i think these self-absorbed thoughts might be better directed if elizabeth was here, or anyone, any girl friend (which i feel so short of) to talk about these not-important girl things that i think about with. im suppressing them for lack of a listener. i dont want to share them with quinn though i would like to share them with girls, and friends, and sisters, and sisters in zion.

the national gallery of art is lavish. the collection began when a prominent banker? lawyer? donated his collection to the federal government in payment for tax evasion. today i listened to a tour about john singer sargent and thought about madame x and george bellows and pictures from books that hung in frames at my leisure

sometimes i wish i studied art history. and i stared at the frames because you make me think about frames quinn.

i dont care for cezanne, but ghiberti moves me, the name and the gold and the details. i am sketchy and i am never working but today i am going to fill my sketchbooks and knit my needles and pound my knees


2:28 p.m. - 2006-02-07

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