Red Rot

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i remember feeling this sad and it makes me feel dumb for feeling it

i am scared at how sad ive been the past couple of days.

and i am scared of being one of those adults i didnt want to be; i walk to and from the metro each day staring at my feet. its harder and harder to look at people or smile in passing or feel anything but sad and frustrated and tired and by the end of the day i just cant breathe. and i cant talk to you. i am thinking things, but my eyes are watering and my throat is choking and i dont even respond. my quietness made you quiet and you said you weren't talking because it was like talking to yourself, and you already knew your thoughts. so i sat with my head on my wrist wanting to feel talkative and alive watching tears drop on my crossed legs. did you know i cry really quietly? did you know ive cried atleast twice maybe more laying right next to you without you noticing? not that it had much to do with you, maybe it did? im just scared that ive been feeling so sad

i remember feeling this sad and it makes me feel dumb for feeling it

9:32 p.m. - 2006-03-22

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