Red Rot

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like i could do more than i could

i cried on the phone today walking up the stairs in the wilkenson and i ran into max who mouthed "whats wrong?" and hugged me and watched my stuff while i went to the bathroom to pull it together, then went to class to hear about babies being pulled apart, aborted in the 2nd trimester, and i thought about last night, falling asleep on my bed alone, reading that zine from wes and that poem about how he almost became a father, and felt empty and f'd and it was too pretty for him! everything was too pretty for him.

its all too pretty for me, and you told me not to swear baby, when i couldnt hold it in any longer. you always were better for me. so i am trying to be better for you,

and i didnt run with crystal on the track, and i didnt eat cookies at the meeting, (i dont know if that was for you or me) but i sat in the temple and drove home wet

and felt better than i am, like i could do more than i could

11:43 p.m. - 2006-10-05

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