Red Rot

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insomnia (how i was raised)

the worst part about staying up all night is that you can't escape your body. you have to pee, three or four times, in an exaggerated mockery of the real day.

the best part is the sunrise, slow at first, creeping past the fences, peaking over the brick at barely four forty, hints of blue long before the whispy clouds see pink.

the worst part is the pigeons, squawking at three-thirty because time doesn't stop for pigeons. now is always now, and the moon is dancing.

the best part is the freedom: i am awake when the world is asleep. the feeling of time: i have time, this time, time that i've created in between the line of today and tomorrow.

the worst part is alone, too warm in sheets, when i can't relax my jaw, my shoulders, my hips, my breath into abandon and he can.

4:45 a.m. - 2010-06-26

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