Red Rot ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- you will not read this unless you like me; either way its not worth it i am cleaning my room. cleaning my closets to usher in the beginning of a new somethingorother again again repetition another year with thoughts shit thoughts again dull. sometimes i have nothing to write about. it happens more and more frequently. im maybe not exerting myself. i need somekind of longwinded stream of concsiousness-ish thought to think something new. i remember wondering if it were possible to think something new; i dont think you thought so kellan, most everything is so derivative. supple-y derivative. erected to be derivative. maksldfhafh1q3!!! really stupid. jksdfkjahsskldhflakklkl 010010001000010010010000010001000100100101111000001001001 bionic code? what is it called? it reminds me of gaelan finney-dae to a point, but mainly its just beautiful to me. something about numbers. i can like it on this non-understanding surface level, cant i? im not excited about the new year, or about much of anything. everything is talk in circles of action that is delayed year after disappointing year, but not that disappointing, just never as productive as intended and im older and older and less and less and less. my age will keep expanding making my insides larger. more space with less to fill up. i am spread out, spread thin and composed mainly of air. drunken parties tonight ladies and gentleman! kellan and andrea and her middle-school boyfriend! hopefully the peaks of parties! only the peaks! only the 14-15 minutes of each social gathering where everyone is too into it to remember how much they hate each other. only the 14-15 minutes before i get socially anxious, it is more and more frequent these days. i remember compiling all of my writing for mr macdonald senior year and my heading was "this was hours in front of the computer, regretfully" really childish of me. i hope he somehow knows i dont feel like that. deep down im just a bit of a brat a bit naive a bit naughty but mostly nice and so unimpressively wordy! THIS WILL CHANGE 12:46 p.m. - 2005-12-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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