Red Rot

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someone interpret this dream

I need to talk to my husband and I don't know how to get a hold of him. The last time I saw him was at the end of September, and we didn't talk.

Last night I dreamed he came back and wanted to have sex and was laying on top of me (clothes on) on a bed in a white room that looked vaguely like an art studio. He had wolf teeth (actual wolf teeth) in the dream. But that made sense to me. I don't think that's a subconscious allusion to negative divorce feelings or anything predatory about Quinn. His real teeth always looked like wolf teeth.

A part of me was happy because he felt like the man pre-disaster and another part of me froze. I felt disloyal for being there, for considering it. Life is different now. I'm seeing someone else now and in my dream I lay underneath him thinking about loyalty, the original loyalty competing with the present. I was thinking about Cameron.

I was thinking how messed up it is that I have a husband and a boyfriend. How hard it is to take care of myself. How messy my head can get. How nothing broken can ever be fixed, but how things get built anyway.

10:24 p.m. - 2013-03-11

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